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Monday, February 15, 2010 4:34 AM

Dear Blog ,
I miss my mum. But i dnt think she noes it. Her sister are all craps. Seriously , i wanna meet her but her sister are the ones that stopping me from goin. She wants a hse to live in but i cant possibly give her. When through the divorce , her family said they wanted to take care of her. Guaranteed her a shelter above her head but its all lie. Money is the reason. Haishx. What kind of brother & sister she have. Seriously , if there is a time machine , i would go back to the time that she took care of me. & never grow. Now , in this filled heart , remorseful of the tragedy. Mum , if you could hear me , i would give my hand to you , & let you stay in my heart w/o any rent. I want you badly that i still have your picture. Im wondering what life are you leading now. Have you eaten ? Do you still in misery ? I know you hate me , but i dnt mind mum. I just need you. Kakak is already an unwed mother. She stole uda bracelet & sell it off at 3K. She spents the money w/o any prove of her spending. I even got out of wrk when kak mas text me. This family doesnt have any family love at all. I dnt mind. I can cope like what im doing now. I still could think using my own brain. But kakak is different mum. Now kakak has alrdy repent. She's wearing a hijab now. Her responsibility is greater now. I still supports the family. Everythings changed. Ayah is coping very slowly. I know he's hurt. Many things that kakak do breaks everyone hearts. Even me mum. Im dying to see you. Im dying to bring you over. But.... Time will tell mum. I hope you are doing okay. I call you as soon as i have the time for you mum. I promise. One more thing you should noe , only Iffah noes about me. She's the only one that understand me. She's the only outsider that understand me well mum. Pray for me as im praying for you.


With undying love
Mamat / Your son.


dear diary.






Muhammad Fahrurrazi is the name.
Razi will the pleasant name to call me.
Born in the year of Monkey , 1992 , April 27
Soccer is the passion
Working is a timekiller for me.
Spending time with NurIffah is myEverything.
Just so you know , i smoke cigg.
It's my drug, I smoke everyday.
Ask me to make an 'O' and I'll gladly agree, i'm awesome at it :)
It might burst in your face so take coverrrrrrrrrr.
Be glad.. I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.
When you're chewing on life's gristle. Don't grumble, give a whistle & this'll help things turn out for the best. & always look on the bright side of life. Always look on the light side of life.
Lastly folks , life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit.





I need you.






Nur Iffah is the given name.
You want to know what i call her , forget it :)
She's born in July , 25 , 1988.
Fortunately , she's 4 years older than me. :))
She's absolutely mine. Bear that in mind.





without a single word.





your smile.


February 2010
April 2010